Vs: Okami v. Link
When looking to adopt a pet, there are many things to consider, beginning with whether the animal can battle demons with the help of a magic paintbrush, or stun enemies through use of a hidden boomerang...
You honestly can't go wrong with either animal but, since this is the Modojo Humane Society, we'd like to give you as much information as possible before we get around to signing the adoption papers. You brought two forms of identification and a urine sample? Good, we'll need those in a moment. No, we're not doing a drug test, but we like to solicit urine donations whenever possible. Yes, for the urine bank.
Yes, for urine transfusions.
...it's for people who can't pee, I guess, I don't know, do I look like a doctor?
A Belgian Wolf Goddess should, according to the American Kennel Club, "bring forth flowers with her every step and light the mind with fires of creativity that border on madness." One look at Amaterasu and I think you'll agree that she is a prime example of the breed. Her sketchy, ever-shifting outline makes it immediately apparent that she exists, simultaneously, in this world, and in the world of spirits. She is responsible for the constellations in the sky, the morning sun that banishes the dark night and would make an excellent guard dog thanks to her vicious bark and variety of legendary armaments. The Belgian Wolf Goddess, as a breed, has a tendency to starve to death after giving away all its food to less fortunate woodland creatures, so you need to watch her eating habits carefully.
In the next cage is a strange looking elf in a green tunic. His intake report says that he's a Hyrulian Short-Haired Rupee Hound, but he looks more like an elementary school student to me. The American Kennel Club guidelines state that a Short-Haired Rupee Hound should have "bright eyes and be eternally repeating a legendary adventure." We took him out for a run on the first day and he ended up stunning three animal control officers with a boomerang we didn't even know he had. The Short-Haired Rupee Hound is, obviously, for experienced dog owners only.
Amaterasu comes trained in a variety of demon battling techniques, in addition the standard canine repertoir of sit, stay, beg and roll over. She learns new techniques quickly and can produce bombs with shocking speed.
Speaking of bombs, and I often am, our young friend the Rupee Hound bombed his way out of his cage before we confiscated the explosives during his first week with us. He's a quick witted animal, when he's an animal at all, who can solve even the most devilish of block and lever puzzles with minimal effort.
This particular Rupee Hound has one health issue that you, as a potential owner, should be aware of. Oh, look at that, he's back to being an animal again. You turn your back on him for one second and he's shape shifting all over the place. This breed is full of surprises. Anyway, you can see there's a large phantom flea with a funny looking hat that endlessly spouts nonsensical prophesy. We've tried all the standard flea and tick treatments, but they're not designed to work against supernatural infestations. You might contact your local exorcist and see what he can do for you.
Amaterasu is in particularly good health, and will stay that way as long as the seasons continue to change and the world continues to turn. She requires fanatical worship from you, but reciprocates by keeping evil dragons at bay. Her intake report states she came in with a glowing green parasite that chattered incessantly, but a flea and tick bath killed that little bastard right off. Pardon my language, but he really was an annoying little son of a bitch. Isn't that right Amaterasu? Isn't that right? Good doggy! What a good doggy!
Adopting a dog is a decision that should not be taken lightly. Unless you're willing to devote the time and energy to training a Hyrulian Rupee Hound AND a small child bent on saving his kingdom, I would have to suggest that you take home Amaterasu the Belgian Wolf Goddess. She's good with children, an expert at unearthing root vegetables, and parasite free!
Winner: Donate to your local animal shelter! That's right, I tricked you into reading a positive social message.