Six Reasons We'd Rather Live In The Mushroom Kingdom
Princess Peach, here we come.
In case you haven't heard, living in the good old U.S.A. isn't the rosy experience it used to be.
Don't get us wrong. We prefer to live here to any country in the world, but with the rising cost of living, the doomed housing market and political nonsense, sometimes, we wish there was a better alternative. You know, like the Mushroom Kingdom.
That's right, the same place Mario calls home. The same fantasy land that Bowser tries to stomp into oblivion with each new video game (he's a hater).
On that note, we have six reasons why heading to the big MK is a great idea.
Princess Peach rules...kind of
Women are just as power hungry and corrupt as men. Princess Peach, on the other hand, is the exception to the rule. From what we can tell, the Mushroom Kingdom's resident monarch has made a career sitting on her butt waiting to get kidnapped. On the off days (you know, when Bowser has more important things to do), she mingles with her loyal subjects, all of whom respect her to the utmost degree. You would to if it meant no taxes and fire flowers for everyone.
Mario has your back
Sure, we could live in a country that spends billions on national defense, or we could move to a land protected by a pudgy Italian plumber. Say what you will about his mustachioed exterior, but Mario is the Air Force, Marines, U.S. Navy Seals and the Army rolled into one pasta-eating instrument of mass destruction.
It hardly ever rains
We've wandered through snow levels and belly flopped onto sheets of ice, but never took a stroll through a crazy downpour. It's sunny at least 95 percent of the time.
Everyone drives go karts and rides dinosaurs
Eat it, Toyota.
There are gold coins everywhere
Stupid America makes us work for our money. Mario's hood, on the other hand, has a surplus of gold coins lying around. At the worst, we'd have to break some bricks with our heads, but having played every Super Mario Bros. game since the NES, it seems easy enough.