Nintendo's old school brick breaking game arrives with a thud.
Bring on the clones! As one of the very first titles released for the Game Boy in April 1989, there's a certain historical significance to Alleyway, perhaps in the same way that Bros and Rick Astley were the hottest teen pop sensations of their day.
Even at that time, yet another spin on the done-to-death Breakout formula wasn't terrifically exciting to many people, and the game deservedly got bent over the knees of critics and given a stern spanking.
Looking at it 22 years later, there's nothing to suggest anyone was being particularly unfair for meting out physical violence to something that, even then, was considered something of a retro nonentity.
If you wanted to be the most forgiving critic who ever lived, you could could observe that, yes, it's a decent enough Arkanoid-style bat and ball game. But you'd be pretty perverse to be hankering after the most tiresome monochrome version that ever existed.
For anyone with taste and dignity, this is the kind of detritus you'd most readily associate with built-in late nineties mobile phone games, and it deserves nothing but contempt. $2.99? Really?
Used under license from Eurogamer.
What's Hot: Mario's in there somewhere.
What's Not: Not enough options, boring gameplay.