Bowser: He's Doing It Wrong
It's time for Mario's arch nemesis to change tactics.
For 26 years, Bowser has plotted to rule the Mushroom Kingdom at the expense of Princess Peach and her loyal subjects.
Yet every time, Mario gets in the way, infiltrating Bowser's many castles and disposing of the big lug and his army of goombas and koopa troopas.
By now, the spiny shelled bozo should have changed the game plan, since it's become abundantly clear that his security could use a boost.
Did Bowser make those adjustments? Of course not. Mario and Luigi still manage to foil his evil schemes. We'd like to think that a large monster with a bunch of cannon ball firing airships could squash two Italian plumbers.
That said, it's time for Bowser to try a different approach. Perhaps things would go smoother if he...
Prevented Princess Peach from sending letters
Seriously, how does she continue to send envelopes filled with 1-ups and other goodies to Mario? Who delivers this mail? Bowser clearly has a rat.
Stole the gold coins
The best way to cripple the Mushroom Kingdom is to hit its residents in their pocket books. Collapse the economy by hoarding all the loose change hiding within flowers and floating bricks. Besides, with no gold coins, Mario can't collect 100 for a 1-up.
Grabbed all the power-ups
This one's obvious. Sabotage Mario's journey by collecting the super mushrooms, fire flowers, suits and star men so he can't use those signature powers. Tiny Mario can still get the job done, but it'll be a heck of a lot tougher.
Killed the bridge
At the end of Super Mario Bros., the plumber runs underneath Bowser, hits the switch and watches the angry goon plummet helplessly into a pool of lava.
Why give the mustachioed pipsqueak the satisfaction? Ditch the bridge, preventing Mario from crossing to the other side and rescuing Peach. Problem solved.
This seems like a no brainer. After kidnapping Peach, grab Mario and Luigi as well. Who's going to save them? Toad? Yoshi? Please.
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